When I went to my 10-year high school reunion I was voted “Most Changed Since High School.” I was married and working as a new teacher mentor for the Hawai’i State Department of Education. I had just finished my M.Ed. and was on the path to complete my Ph.D.  I was loving my job, happy, and one might even say successful. And as it turns out, no one really expected that. 

In all fairness, in high school, I was definitely not the girl that dreamed of becoming a teacher or thought much beyond the weekend plans. I didn’t go into teaching because I loved school or because it was part of the long term plan. I was reminded of my own experience when I read this article, Kids Don’t Need to Stay ‘On Track’ to Succeed, in the Atlantic and was struck by this reminder:

If a linear progression tightly tied to grades, SAT scores, admittance to selective colleges, and high-­powered internships for well-­known companies were in fact the path taken by most successful people, we still would have to weigh its value against healthy child development, but at least we would have some evidence that our kids would one day benefit from all of the aggressive preparation, coaching, and tutoring. However, reality—that is, real people following real trajectories—suggests that this particular template is only modestly accurate. More often, a meandering and unexpected path is what leads to success.

This above paragraph couldn’t be more accurate for me. In fact, I didn’t get into the college that I wanted and ended up going to a local state university that ended up have the best teachers and I fell in love with school and learning and found my passion for teaching. I went to an amazing teacher credential program that modeled for me how I could create authentic, integrated learning experiences in ways that I had wanted to learn as a student. When there were few jobs available in San Diego because of a budget crisis, I moved to Hawai’i to teach. I became an instructional coach and new teacher mentor and loved each of those roles but they were never part of the plan or the scripted path. They emerged as I did. It wasn’t the plan that kept me on track, it was the willingness to navigate it when I hit obstacles and opportunities that allowed me to chart it.

How do we ensure our kids are successful?

It seems that every conversation I am in comes back to ensuring that kids are successful. I get it. We care deeply for our children and their futures and want nothing more than for them to be successful. As a mom and an educator, I share this desire for my kids and each and every child.

My fear, however, is that as we become so obsessed with the formula of GPAs, SAT scores, the “right extracurricular activities”, and the elite college in our narrow view of success, we undervalue the development and experiences in life that develop the talents and strengths that make us uniquely human and enable us to not find the one right path but chart it, again and again.

Mandy Froelich, a powerful educator and author wrote a post recently, I am not your ideal graduate, that I would highly recommend you read. Her story is important for every educator to understand and she reminds us:

“We can define the ideal graduate. It’s a good idea to know what characteristics we would love our students to graduate with so we can support them in their future success the best way we know how. Resilience. Tenacity. Agency. Self-advocacy. However, we also need to realize that sometimes these characteristics don’t show themselves in college graduates or how society views success. They might instead be found in the journey to get to wherever they belong, even if it’s not the one we would have chosen for them.” 

When we assume that there is one path to success, we narrowly define the path that dismisses some, over celebrates others and we miss out on the promise of fulfillment for each and every individual based on their own strengths, talents, goals and ever possible trajectory.

I certainly don’t have all the answers but I wonder how might we create more time and space to wander and meander in schools, and in our homes and free time, to experience, explore, to find ourselves and our passions. These experiences might allow kids to find new passions and rule out things they dislike to better understand how to chart our course rather than following the prescribed path?

Think about your path and the obstacles and opportunities that you faced. How did this shape your journey? What did you learn from it? What might you have done differently? How might you share this with your students or children?

It wasn’t until I got into college and had opportunities to learn in ways that were authentic and participatory that I truly found joy in school and learning and through some winding paths decided that I wanted to become a teacher that could create new and better opportunities for my students. I am grateful that my journey took me where it did and to this day continues to evolve into different experiences and opportunities that the 17 year old me had no idea were even possible.