The injustice and racism that has lead to the deaths of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and countless others are sickening and wrong. The current events have made me more explicitly confront my own privilege as a white woman and demand that I stand up against these horrific crimes and be a better co-conspirator for my black family, friends, and students. As Bettina Love explains, a co conspirator gets in the ring and takes risks for people. This means it is not enough to believe that Black Lives Matter but that it is incumbent upon me to deeply reflect, learn, and most importantly act to do something about it.  

To start, here are some of my reflections:

I have idolized my older black cousins and uncles (and cherished my younger ones) my whole life. I have black friends and neighbors and coworkers that I love and respect. I thought that loving all people and not being a racist was enough. I was wrong.

I believe in the gifts that each of my students have brought to the classroom. I want nothing more than for each of them to know they matter and find their rightful place in this world. I thought creating multicultural libraries, creating experiences that honored all students’ backgrounds, and valuing each of my students was enough. I was wrong.

I often work with educators to create more learner-centered experiences by knowing their students, listening to them, and co-creating more authentic learning experiences. I thought that was enough. I was wrong.

I have celebrated that my kids have diverse friends groups and they have black friends. I thought to raise kids who aren’t racist was enough. I was wrong.

As Ibram X. Kendi explains, “The opposite of racist isn’t ‘not racist’ it is anti-racist.” 

In his book, How To Be An AntiRacist, he defines both racist and antiracist:

I have been told not to use this language because it will alienate people. If this language makes you uncomfortable, I understand. I shied away from anti-racist books and teaching because I believed I wasn’t racist. I was wrong.

Growing up, I was taught that racism was segregation, acts of violence, name-calling, and the KKK and largely behind us. Yes, these overt acts are what we see on the surface and are racist but they don’t encapsulate the entirety of racism that exists. 

UPDATE: Thanks to Henry Turner for pointing out that this problematic nature of this graphic in the comments. I have decided to leave it in to acknowledge my blind spots and how much work I have to do and help others see why this graphic reinforces white supremacy as “socially acceptable”

Systemic racism that stems from slavery and 400 years of oppression and inequitable policies that have persisted and marginalized people of color. What I have been coming to better understand in recent years, which has come to a more visible tipping point in the last week, is that not being racist is not enough. I must be an actively anti-racist woman, educator, mom, who is not just and ally but a co-conspirator.

As Maya Angelou says “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. 

For me this begins with listening (and lots of reading) to better understand the experiences of black people individually and collectively. I have been leaning into conversations to actively talk about race and inequities that have too easily been avoided with my family, friends, co workers. I will continue to model and talk with my children about their role and opportunity to be co-conspirators too. 

As an educator, I am passionate about ensuring all voices are honored and valued but as Cornelius Minor, who has taught me so much in his writing and his work with educators reminds us, “[that] alone will not change the systems that routinely produce unjust outcomes. To continue with business as usual, to do nothing, to be “neutral” is a passive declaration of racism because the system that we are most intimately connected with — school — will continue to produce unjust outcomes for people of color. To be antiracist is to be actively involved with the disruption of these systems.” 

My commitment is to do more to explicitly acknowledge and address our bias and dismantle inequitable systems to create new and better ones for each and every student, especially those who have been the most marginalized in our schools. I promise to listen, reflect, learn, and do better.