In recent weeks, many social events got canceled and the way of life that we were used has been disrupted. CUE (Computer Users in Education) went virtual instead of canceling and kudos to the amazing team for all they did to pivot quickly and create a much-needed virtual conference for educators. Even though I thought it was a great idea for others, my first thought was no thanks- I don’t want to participate. I am comfortable doing the in-person workshop and speaking to groups but I don’t love doing online workshops or webinars. The virtual format is not where I am at my best and it would be uncomfortable for me. And then I realized … duh, this is what everybody in the world is facing right now and knew I had to lean in even though I didn’t want to.

I had created a presentation with some new tools and fixed my slides and resources to make them easier for participants to follow along, or so I thought. Instead, I opened up the online session and asked everyone to click on the link that was, of course, not accessible to them so I had to stop go back and change permissions. It was not the end of the world but also not how I wanted to start out. Next, I wanted to have a way to connect with the participants so I decided to use a new tool and have everybody introduce themselves. Well, that didn’t work either and because I was sharing my screen I couldn’t figure out why it also wasn’t accessible to everyone else and so after the second attempt of trying something that didn’t work, I just scrapped it and decided just to ask people to take a minute and introduce themselves.

It was not an ideal way to start and I was frustrated. In the midst of all of this, I also forgot to mute everybody when I started and thankfully forgot to record the session as well:). But because I forgot to mute everybody I heard someone who didn’t realize that everyone could hear them say to someone in the background, “she is trying to teach us technology and doesn’t even know how to use it.” To be honest, she said exactly what I was feeling. At that moment, I was thinking I am a complete and utter failure. I suck. I should just shut this down right now and go hide. I was really regretting showing up at all. And then I looked up and realized the majority of people were smiling, giving me grace, and waiting to learn.

I decided this was a moment to own my vulnerability and remind everyone that what I was sharing was a work in progress. Six months ago when I submitted the session our world was different, our schools were different, our opportunities were different. Because of that I revised and created a new presentation- a rough draft- that I wanted to share because it was more applicable to today than my thoughts were six months ago or even six days ago. So even though I am not an expert in all the latest technology, I am passionate about supporting educators in their evolving role so that our children can have opportunities to engage in powerful learning experiences in a classroom, at home, or anywhere, anytime. Because of that, I continued to share examples of educators who are focusing on what matters to support students and families in this uncertain time and choose to prioritize connection, collaboration, co-creating, activating student questions and interests and meeting each learner where they are. There are great technology resources that enable these remotely but they are not, nor should they be the focus. 

We Are All in a Collective FFT

This is a workshop that I would love to forget ever happened and just move on instead of publicly documenting it but the reason I’m sharing this with you is that this week in the Learner-Centered Innovation book study, we had our first video chat and many educators acknowledged that they are anxious about teaching online and not doing everything right. I have seen many messages about being patient with your teachers because they are just learning and not exactly sure how this will all go. I know that teachers across the country are showing up for their students and are already (or just getting ready) to teach online for the first time whether they are ready to or not.  

Many of us are experiencing things that new and it’s uncomfortable. We are all in a collective FFT (effing first times), which is how Brene Brown‘s explains it in her new podcast, Unlocking Us.  Being at the beginning of something new is always hard and vulnerable, no matter who you are, which is why many people avoid getting out of their comfort zone. She describes how she felt launching her first podcast and in real-time shares how awkward and uncomfortable it is.  As I listened I thought this isn’t the Brene I’m used to, and it wasn’t because I have seen her rehearsed Ted Talk, her expertly produced Netflix show and read and listened to many of her published books. This podcast was her sharing her first time, or as she says (FFT) and it was vulnerable and imperfect and pretty awesome and the following ones keep getting better! 

As I was still sulking a bit from what felt like an epic failure, I laid on the couch with my family and we were figuring out what to watch. My husband said he was missing all of the late-night shows and said he had watched Stephen Colbert’s improvision from home and it wasn’t very good. He didn’t have an audience, an expert film crew, nor a produced show, it was an FFT. I suggested we try Jimmy Fallon. We watched a clip of him in front of his house and everyone noticed he was out of breath, he didn’t seem as comfortable and then he brought he computer along for a laugh track since he didn’t have an audience. His segments keep getting better and I have enjoyed watching him (and his guests) not because it is perfect, but because it is real and authentic and a reminder that if we just keep showing up and learning just maybe we will inspire others, make connections, and keep improving. 

Embracing the Evolving Role of the Educator

Here’s what Brene says in her blog, Collective Vulnerability, the FFTs of Online Learning, and the Sacredness of Bored Kids

The bad news: It will be a total FFT for you, your team, your school, and your district. The wheels will fall off. It will NOT go as planned. And, for those of you asking students to get dressed and sit in front of the computer for 8-10 hours, as if they’re in class . . . I hate to have to tell you – that is NEVER going to happen. Neurologically – it’s screen time. Have you ever been in the same room with someone who has played Minecraft for 4 or 5 or 6 hours? Non-human.

Here’s the good news: If you’re someone who is driven to show up for your students and connect, if you’re willing to be a learner, if you’re willing to stay curious, if you’re willing to change course (478 times in one semester or one week), YOU WILL TOTALLY CRUSH IT!

Although I am not comparing myself to Brene Brown or Jimmy Fallon, I am acknowledging that my session was an FFT and hard to work through. I don’t like making stupid mistakes and not doing things well, especially publicly. But because I put myself out there and tried and learned, many educators got to share what they were doing, came away with new ideas and connections, and the next time I facilitated the session it was much better.

It is going to be awkward and imperfect. I know it is also hard not to be able to see your students and connect with them face to face. We have to remember how hard this is on for families, the kids, the administrators and understand that this is new for all of us. We have to show up for each other and we have to figure out how we can take this moment in time and look to our learners. Let’s use this opportunity to try something new- even if it’s not perfect- and embrace the FFT to create something new and better for the educational community, for our kids, and our collective future.